woah, today sudden change in jz ah! all purple! haha. anw chem lecture in the morn. 2 hrs. ahh! almost fell aslp. but ah, the person behind me damn irritating la. keep kiking my chair can. i noe ur legs long but can dun kik!! kik like 10 times can. kept on looking behind and kept on telling jz quite loudly tt the person behind me kept kiking. apparently, she still dun care n kept kiking. RAHH!



after chem was GP. ahh, most hated subj. ivy, yanpeng, bailu and i went to the class den found no one there. waited a while den we finally decided to pon together. so we wrote on the board " we were here but there was no one" den we wanted to leave le. was like rushing out of the rm budden wahh, we saw her face! so no choice, hafta attend lesson.
den wahh, she lost my gp essay can! and i tink she lost another guy de oso. nt sure but so qiao, it's my essay leh. purposely de? or maybe nt, maybe i tink too much. but im sure she dun like me. to her, i dun even exist in her class can. she kept mistaking me as isabel. LOL. sighh. it's like i do her work, she will sae i nv do. den now i did and HANDED in, den she lost it. ahh, my work is all rubbish to her la. how do you expect me to pass my gp when u lost my essay and i totally duno wat's wrong with my essay and duno where to improve? goshh, she better find my essay out lo and better scan my essay and send me thru email. dun ever expect me to go all the way to sch juz to take an essay when it wasnt even my fault at all. worse, dun ever tink of asking me to redo the whole damn essay hor. i can seriously strangle her on the spot la.



so yea, went to brian's hse for the last rehearsal. and i ate chicken rice with so much dark soy sauce till i gt no appetite. shall nt try agn :X den we left his hse super early and reached sch super early. AHH, den we realised chem VA presenattion dragged by an hr. goshh. so we did our presentation. and it was YAY, quite gd. even the tchers sae our kayaks are nice n cute. haha! well, other grps de presentation quite interesting too i must sae. but yup, we did our best(:



okay was tramautised by SUMONE. haha. okay la, nt really tt traumatised. haha.

woah, slpt at 330 this morn. haha. and went to play squash at 11. wanted wake up at 9 de budden kept fallin aslp until at 1030, i finally dragged myself out of bed. haha.so yea, was training alone til shufen came at ard 1215? yup. today's trng was not bad. i gt more strength le. and when i train myself, i was quite okay but for the drills with shufen, i suck totally at it ): shall train more(: and shufen made me run here n there during the game! haha, chao tired. haha, and yea both of us hit our ownselves(: played squash for abt 2.5hrs. and yea, i find the security guards today quite friendly leh. normally, they arent like this? so weird. when i first reached there and wanted to get a visitor pass, the guards joke with me. den when i leaving tt time, the guard asked if i haf enjoyed my game. woah, they are like so diff frm last times.



den reached home, had lunch and my dad asked me go cycling. so yea, went cycling for 1.5 hrs. and i learnt my lesson nv to try standing and holding the bike with only 1 hand while cycling. can only do 1 at a time(: haha, was trying out la den almost fell. phews. but my butt hurts(: den cycled all the way to my amah's hse at khatib.den had to carry the whole mountain bike up the stairs. hmm, quite heavy.. den my hand hurts ): den ah, realised she wasnt at home so had to carry it all the way down agn. woahh! i exercised so much today. shall do this every sun? healthly lifestyle(:



hmm, den my parents want to go out to watch PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN(: going out soon. maybe if i gt time ltr, shall blog abt how nice it is. blahh anw, wanted to watch with frens de. den yea, now canot. okay, shall sae a big SORRY agn ): my family is alrdy saeing me le la. and if dun go out with family ah, i tink they will nv ever go watch tt movie. coz my dad will always sae if i dun go, wat's the pt of going out. haha. which means, if i dun go, my dad oso dun go, my mum and bro will scold me tgther. BLAHH. and i dun wan tt. so.. SORRY!! ): and coz i m goin out, cant meet online for chem proj! SORRY agn ): i will cum back at 11 plus de(:

8 am in the morning, some idiot, chi bao mei shi zuo, made prank calls. actually he called my bro's hp but coz my bro nv pick up, so the call was diverted to my hse fone. and as usual, nobody bothers to pick up the fone or maybe they slp like si zhu. so the stupid me went pick up. tt person went " hello jacky, hello jacky, jacky" sth liddat in some high pitch n er xin voice. AHH, den i went "wrong no, wrong no, sorry wrong no". i was still so polite la, den he ended the call with "yea, right.." and hung up. wat an attitude la! den i was tinking to myself, "gosh la, prank call". and i was right. he called like 4-5 times. coz i was half aslp, i juz picked it up and didnt sae anything, i wanted to hear what he said and also qi si ta so he wont call agn. and he went looking for jacky again. LOL. if i m wide awake, he is so gona get it frm me man. den he called agn at like 845. keep disrupting my beauty slp la. RAHH. and den i called back and kept quiet, he went " hello, good morning". was so different la, he said it in a polite voice. woah. WHY ISSIT TT MY HSE ALWAYS KENA PRANKS CALLS DE!



anw, watched tv frm 11 till 210 before i gt out of the hse to do chem proj. but before tt, my dad called and said he bought 2 mountain bikes and wanted me n my bro to get it frm the deliveryman. hmms. yea, my dad gt this craze over cycling these few days. haha. den was chao funny la, my bro n i were waiting for tt man and tt man was like waiting for us sumwhere else. if he nv did come to find us, tink we can spend the whole afternoon waiting for one another. haha.



so met for chem proj. FIRST to reach agn! haha! had to read tt poem and record my voice. haha, took super long before i finally read it. coz ah, so malu, haha. den in the end, i tink i read like 30 times. anw, today jz was very HIGH. coz brian and bian tai de were suggesting we shld have more emotions when reading. but so impossible to read very fast with emo. den jz tried. she ah, read the poem with diff emo de. gt whiny de, cartoonish de, happy de, sad de. haha, den she read at such high pitch. haha, den made me laugh so much and non-stop till i almost cried. den had stomachache. haha. coz was super funny. nv c her SO HIGH before.



den was so tired. maybe coz i laughed too much? laughed till i broke my own record. coz last time can laugh up to 10-15 mins non-stop. or maybe coz i walked alot today? had to buy dinner la, me again. sighhhs. but nvm, used to it. haha. discovered jz's siao side which was quite a woah thing. yupps(:

broke my white hairband early in the morning ): xintong. and yea, so i msged ivy to help me bring one coz my hair looks so messy w/o one(: and in the end, ivy brought like 9 hairbands for me to choose frm. gosh, so scary! haha. but yea, thks lots lots! i tink i owe ivy a lot ><



after maths lesson, went to do econs VA. cant believe my grp actually discussed like almost 3 hrs. gosh! can seriously faint, and we are still nt done with it! AHHHH! sumore, we have alrdy exceeded the word limit by ALOT. after econs, went to meet jz they all. kept pestering them to have lunch coz was super hungry. haha, den was tinking after having lunch, can go play squash. but ah, last min, they wanted to go coro eat, so yea, NO TIME TO PLAY SQUASH! RAHH. anw, we walked frm the main gate, all the way to coro. den was so funny when ivy tried to compete with brian to see who can walk faster. haha, had a great time. laughed alot(:



den ahhh, kena scammed! haha. some pple said nit to wear tie for SISC den some pple said dunit. so in the end, we all juz bought the tie. ahh, 6 bucks leh for a lousy quality tie. ahh, tink tt tie is gona rot at home. haha(: so we went for the SISC. our class was one of the last few classes to set off. haha.



ahh, msged my fren who is in ngee ann poly. den she said she juz left ngee ann poly. wahh, didnt get to c her ): long long time nv c her le ): den ngee ann poly ahh, brings back sad memories. haha. the place where we lost mm comp and i almost wanted to cry. oh well. den yea, SISC closing ceremony ah, quite boring leh, only for the dances. haha. and i must sae i love the chinese dance!(:



after tt ceremony, nj students supposed to stay back de, but yea, everyone was so naughty and we juz went off! haha! the funniest thing is, our class took quite a while before we finally managed to get out of tt place. went to the right front door den the door closed. den went to the right back door and it closed agn. so we hurry ran to the left back door. haha! and jz n i led the way out ah, since we have been there before. haha(:



den went to kap to eat macs. at first called home to c if my mum has cooked alrdy anot. den she asked me to return home to eat den i said okay. after tt she called agn n said my sis nt going home to eat so it's up to me to decide if i wan to eat outside. so i told her i gona eat outside. after i gt off the bus ah, my mum called me agn n asked me if i m seriously goin out to eat leh. den i was like omg, wo yi jing xia che le leh! haha, but chey, ended up she was joking with me de.



at kap, suay suay saw nicholas there. haha. at first didnt even realise he was there till yipeng, yh and jz told me. LOL! haha. den yea, yh tried the exothermic trick on sl. ended up both of them kena chilli on their uniforms. and yh ah, keep shooting ice at me! WAHH! and oh ya, so qiao, saw both my darlings there(: haha, wo men hao you yuan wor! haha(:



and gosh, i tink i have been eating unhealthy western food these few days. ahh! and spent alot of money. shall eat healthier food nxt wk(: YEA.



long n tired day.

watched movie agn! i tink i keep watching movies. haha. okay, anw, watched NEXT. wanted to watch BLADES OF GLORY de. okayy, at first i kept on telling my bro tt the movie was nice during the movie. but after watching the ending, i find it lame la. haha. next movie i shall watch is PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN! haha.



gosh, it's like so fast, it's going to be JUNE. and wat does that mean? holidays but more of MUGGING FOR COMMON TESTS. NONOOOO... sighhs, still hafta mug anw. haf been failing tests. only managed to pass maths. blahh.



and ya, tchers like to call me to ans qns! ): that's a bad thing. BAD BAD SUPER BAD thing. coz most of the time, i wil go huh first before answering the qn. maybe i gt this very bad look tt tchers always wan to call me. even my gp tcher kinda accused me of copying when i didnt. it's like grp work? shldnt the ans be the same? HELLO, she is the one who said it's grpwork! wat rights does she haf to tink tt i copied. i felt like telling her right in the face tt i didnt copy. sumore the qn she said tt i copied was done by me. ME ME ME. plus, she gave ivy 4 marks more than wat i gt for MY ans, sumore the words are the same. but is the part she thot tt i copied, makes me QI. she hates me for like no reason? but she tinks the class likes to be in her class meh!



and the sexuality workshop, she is gona be there. SCREAMS. haha, wadever, i shall nt be bothered by her. YAY! staying positive-

okay, today is a super sad day. i knew this day is gona cum. i cried in sch. LOL. okay la, but now i feel better. i must try to accept it no matter what. it's kinda unfair and i tink the j1s squash pple agree with me? sumhow they hafta pick pple to get into nationals. i noe they are in a rush in picking but shldnt they be observing us for a few trg sessions and nt be based on 1 hr? maybe i m saying all these coz i didnt get into nationals and i hafta get out of the cca coz of tt. but it's really true la. everyone wasnt even prepared for this. they didnt tell us they are gona pick THAT early.



besides, i wont be complaining this much if i nv train. is like i did self-training with shuffy and vivien. and i noe some are training too. but for some, they arent even training? plus, so far, there were only 2 training sessions and we dun really learn much frm there?



okay, at least there will be another trial which is gona be the third trial. no idea how many times they wan to trial la. i m sick of this. and there is gona be another trial coz i asked for it? i was there arguing with them how unfair it is. and the others were like orh-ing there. i noe they are sad but i seem to be the only one arguing and i tink those pple hate me now.



yea, i shall stay positive. besides, i can always join another cca. *consoling myself* yupp, thks alot to those pple who comforted me(: you all are really nice(: and to those who are really troubled over some things, cheer up coz life is all abt ccas, studies wadever i tink. it's the love and care tt pple give u tt matter(: yupp, but i cant seem to get over this thing yet. i guess i nit more time. and i dun understand why this kind of things always happen to me. yepps, anw, thks agn pple!(:

where is the emily,
who used to be cheerful and free of problems?



why is the present emily having so many problems,
which nobody can see?
why issit tt she has a sucky family,
where nobody cares about her?
for wadever things which had happened,
it will always be her fault.
even if she duno where her bro and sis has gone,
it will be her fault.



she is sick and tired of being accused and used.
she trys to defend for herself,
but she will always back off,
coz she didnt want to quarrel on.
she can only show the bu shuang face.
she is like a slave
who has to help to do things.
even when the phone rings,
nobody will want to pick up,
and she will be the one doing it.
why is she helping pple ard
yet when she asks for help,
pple will hesistate.



she is undergoing so much stress,
yet she can only laugh it off.
everyone will go " u so free, help me do this do tt"
but is she really tt free?
she is one who will cry almost everyday
on her bed high up there
where nobody can see her tearing.



she is sick of this life.
her life is so screwed.
she sucks.




played squash with vivien and shuffy today. kena hit by squash ball on my right eye. ouch. -swollen-

i gt this feeling, no matter how hard i m practising, i will still be kiked out of the cca eventually. wat's the pt of trying so hard? i feel that i m deceiving myself all the while.

woahh, monday alrdy. tt's abit fast. for the whole wkend, i m like stoning. duno wat i did. hw piling up yet i did like none? or maybe abit. actually i duno how do most of them. so gave up. and yea, only started hw like on sunday. blahh. and yay, monday, today, it's nj holiday.



well, sunday. went play squash early in the morn at 815 with vivien. den we played for like 3 hrs. woah! and the squash courts were cool. air-conditioned. haha. so we practised n practised. and i tink i improved. YAY. at least i can make the game last longer. haha. practised serving, forehand and backhand. and my backhand sucks ): shall practise more.



well, vivien is a nice 'tcher'. haha. she kept on saeing good when my shots were bad i tink? and she kept on encouraging me! YAY. and yea, we were funny. tried to pick up the ball using our racquets. den we would go YAY whenever we succeeded. haha. den we almost 'murdered' each other at least once(: and yea, so dumb of me, there was one ball. i hit it, it hit the wall and the ball hit me ): haha. den i kept on blocking her, but she blocked me too. HAHA. so it's okay(:



and yea, i nit more practice. YAY. squash is fun. i m improving, i can hit better now, more powerful shots and i can react faster le. but still nit brush up those skills(: and i played till i haf no more strength to even serve a proper shot >< and my arm hurts ><



was quite happy in the morn de. until i went home and saw this list of hw. i m so gona scream! and so stressed up le den my bro still asked me geog things. initially was okay but ahhh, he asked me agn n agn n i explained agn n agn. well, okayy, it's alright now(:



doing chem proj in a few hrs' time! and i only haf like less than 6 hrs to slp. lalala.

BOO! have not been posting. hmm.



anw, this whole wk was bad. haha. during tutorials, i kept being kena called to answer qns, esp when i wasnt paying attention or when i duno how to do tt particular qns. like thurs i tink, was staring at tt maths qn on the board den mr song suddenly called me. haha, i was trying to understand how do tt qn den he asked me to ans duno which qn den i was like huh. haha. den fri ah, econs, wasnt paying attention. was playing with eraser >< coz was falling aslp. den i duno wat qn tcher asked me den i panicked. haha. these few days ah, nt slping well. kept chionging hw but still, there are lots i duno how do. blahhh.



but yea, today is a nice day. NICE NICE day(: haha, gt my squash racquet! at first saw one super nice de. but the price was $189. like ouch. my dad was like if u wan den i buy for u. budden i c the price ah, i dun wan liao though it was super nice, super light. haha. den i saw another one which was red and white, which was near 70 bucks. wanted buy tt den they sae no more le ): den in the end, i settled for one which is orange n black and ard tt price. haha, same colour as my specs(: and sumore new arrival de. YAY. i gt my squash racquet now! shall practise hard(:



den yea, went watch spiderman 3 with family! super nice la. the movie made me laugh, made me xia dao and almost made me cry. haha. it's seriously nice(: YEA, it's a must watch movie! haha. and my movie ended at like 11pm. so late(: den when i was walking down the stairs after movie ended. almost fell ah.
to twin, carrot, nice, wj: i noe when you all are reading this, you all will be thinking "so emily ah, whole day fall de!" haha(:



yup, gona play squash with vivien tmr! going to do proj on mon. NO TIME DO HW! well, shall chiong today.